Why Starting Point Advocacy?
The way divorce is handled today is that people, especially women, become overwhelmed and panic. They run to their friends and ask, “Who’s the best attorney you know?” Then spend thousands, often tens of thousands of dollars, getting no where and feeling unheard. And it’s not the attorney’s fault – they focus on the business of your divorce -- not your emotions, fear, children or life after divorce.
Stop the panic, and take a deep breath.
We are your true Starting Point for divorce, your clear thinking partner, a guide through the divorce process and someone you can trust.
Before you do anything, let’s meet for coffee and a free discovery session to talk.
Together, tomorrow is a better day.
Together, tomorrow is a better day.
If you are on my site, chances are you’re going through a very difficult time right now. This season may feel as if you are being attacked personally, as if the person you thought would be your lifetime partner, is now your enemy and that you are surrounded. Listen closely. Lean in. I’ve got a big secret for you. This battle has already been won. If God is for you, who can be against you? Because you are his chosen child, you are not alone and He is your protector, conqueror, eternal victor and steadfast armor. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be adversity or people who oppose you. It means that having God alongside you and within you is a victory already won – you are automatically on the winning side! Knowing that he has gone before you and your future has already been secured should dramatically change your perspective and give you hope and peace. Instead of living in a defensive mode, arms up in fight mode, trying to protect yourself from suffering – learn to follow Him boldly, wherever he takes you. Think of this season as training... He is teaching you how to lean on him completely without defenses. Know, truly know, He has already won the battle for you. Let go and take a deep breath. Three strategies come to mind when I write about adversity: 1) My battle song. When I have been at my most fragile times of pain or fear, I have a battle song that I play and sing in my head throughout the day or scream out loud to remind me God is near “Surrounded – Fight my Battles” by Michael Smith. What is your battle song? Don’t have one? GET ONE! 2) Next, I tell myself that like the Israelites, this hard time is my wilderness of Zin. It’s my valley to walk, lean on God for my very basics of strength and sustenance, and that He has something very important to teach me. This difficult season is a very important learning season. I thank Him advance for whatever I will learn. I'm about to get stronger. 3) When anxiety is extremely high, I visually see myself putting on the armor of God, layer by layer. Stepping into the armored suit, the linked chains of protection, clink of the chains as they rattle, the weight of the heavy armored chest plate to protect my heart, the iron helmet to protect my mind. I see and physically feel God’s protection. I feel the weight of His presence and protection. Read Roman 8:18-39. I like the Message Bible. You may roll your eyes at that, but it helps me talk with my God in ways I can bite. Choose the translation that fits best for you. (I need to write the author Paul a little love note.) Dear Paul, you are sooooo on target, a true ambassador of writing from what you saw, touched, who you interviewed and talked to, so perfectly capturing the inspiring words delivered to you from our God. How you have pulled me from depths so many times. Can't wait to meet you in Heaven, Sir! Romans 8:31-39 – "So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put every thing on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even point a finger. The ONE who died for us – who was raised to life for us! – is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not huger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture… None of this fazes us, because Jesus loves us." Know that there is no suffering you are experiencing that Jesus has not gone through. Hebrews 11:34-12:2 – "Strip off every weight that holds us down. Jesus has gone before us. He is the trailblazer. He has experienced the weight of the world… and was brutally persecuted for who he was for us." Can I hear an AMEN?!?!
I believe giving thanks and being grateful daily is the essential ingredient to happiness - or even greater - JOY: a deep sense of well being. Especially in times of fear, grief, anxiety and confusion, when you take a few minutes in the morning or evening to stop, breathe, and see joy in your life, even in the smallest details, you will begin to realize God is there… with you… in those details. Not only is He with you, He has gone ahead of you, made a path, and has this moment under His control for you. And there is nothing more comforting than that. Look and find Him in your details. A simple word of encouragement or kindness from a stranger, new friend or dear one. The cardinal who came to visit your back porch. The smile of your child or grandchild. The simple gratitude that the day starts fresh each morning and is open before you. A song that spoke to you, a shell that reminds you of your favorite beach trip or a job that provides for you. Journal. Write it down. When you start to focus on what is good in your life rather than what is weighing you down, you realize you are surrounded by many wonderful people, experiences and things in your life. Concentrate on them and give thanks for them. As this practice takes hold, and you go back and reflect on each day, you will find how incredibly blessed you are and just how great our God is. #startingpointadvocacy
When the very foundation of our worlds change, such as the end of a marriage, we feel out of control. We begin to panic and worry, our emotions ever climbing and suddenly plummeting. We focus inward as we analyze and grasp at any semblance of "normalcy," attempting to control any small thing we can that makes us feel certain. For many, it feels impossible to reach out to others when we are so desperately holding on. Others lash out with nervous, anxious energy. While you may feel completely alone in your chaos, KNOW, truly know, you are not alone. Be Still. Be very intentional about planning time to be still, hear and feel God and rest your soul. Create space each day to spend with Him, even if that stillness is for 2 minutes to simply hear yourself breathe and say His name out loud. Begin to create the habit of giving Him your first and last minutes of the day or schedule time in the bath to just be still and rest. Set an alarm or reminder. Nurture Your Soul. Light a candle and begin by telling God you are there in that quiet space. Don’t focus on the chaos of the moment, but for those 2 minutes, hear yourself breathe in and out. Tell Him you love Him and need Him. Thank Him for being there with you and ask Him to surround you with his arms and unconditional love. If you have space, open your arms wide and envision him entering that space. As you say His name…. concentrate on your breathing and continue seeing that circle of space. Put yourself in the center of that space and continue inviting His loving spirit into that space. Feel Him around you. Feel His peace that only he can give. Continue to thank Him for being there with you. Be completely still and feel His love. You may feel the need to cry as you feel His love around you. That’s okay and it’s good. He is healing you. You may feel numb and empty, and that’s okay, too. Let go for those few minutes and focus on God. PEACE starts within. Seek Him in the stillness. You need the peace that only He can bring.
Starting Point Divorce Advocacy provides direction, strategies and restorative financial and life plans to clients at any stage of separation and divorce. Together, tomorrow is a better day.
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